And then I tried to keep from spitting water all over the coffee table

The Huz is digging through a bag of old beads and jewelry and pulls out a little Celtic-looking ring that only fits on his pinky finger. "What do you think of my new ring?" he asks.

I glance at it, say something like, "Uhhhhh," and go back to what I was doing.

A couple of minutes later he seals the bag up with the ring back in it, and I say, "What happened to your ring?"

"You didn't like it," he says.

"I didn't say I didn't like it. Pinky rings are baller."

"You know what's baller? Snotty wives. That's why I got one."