Seriously. Don't freak out.

"Well, it could be thing A or it could be thing B, but I don't think it's thing B because thing B is extremely rare and you'd probably be dead by now." Why thank you, doctor.

Awesome. But don't freak out, because he doesn't think it's thing B. I've had this hard little knot on the ligament on the arch of my left foot for a couple of years. Want to get technical? Thing A is plantar fibroma, which is a benign tumor. Thing B is fibrosarcoma, which is scary death death death. He was quick to add that because I've had it for two years, it's probably not fibrosarcoma, which would have murdered me in fewer than two years. So even though it shouldn't kill me, it still huuuuuurts. Who wants to pay for some surgery? Not me, that's who.

Cheer up, because we're making sushi with friends tonight. SUSHI!




Just kidding. I'm going to make mine look like this:



Pardon me while I go buy some red hair dye.