What I read on the internet today OR Why I fear for the future of this country

"Hey whats up, my name is [common boy's name]..pretty much the coolest guy you'll ever talk to. I am 19 years old. Freshmen in college. I have a full time job at [a large home improvement store] in Avon. (yeah thats right i make the big bucks bitches) And i also work at [a store in the mall where the clientele is mostly rich tan white kids who probably couldn't spell clientele] part time. I dont care what people think. I am me for me, not anyone else, and to put it bluntly, if they dont like it, they can fuck off for all i care =) I hate when ppl put on a show around different groups of people to impress sum1... dont be a tool for gods sake.. just be your own damn self ya fuck-0's. I'm very outgoing, i love sports, football being my favorite... by a long shot...football was my life in highschool, i miss the shit out of it. When it comes to you ladies... lol, your screwed, cuz im lucky enuf to have the best girl ever([common girl's name], luv ya babe) =)...Anyway like i said, i dont care what ppl think...but i get along with everybody and i'll talk about anything, im a very sociable person...so just send me a message or we can talk on AIM....if you have my screen name ofcourse ;)...... -zbzb [common boy's name] zbzb-"

I particularly like the instruction to fuck off followed by a smiley face.