I can't even think of a title absurd enough to fit this post

I grew up out in the country. I lived in the same house for the first 21 years of my life, and the road I lived on was gravel until well into my high school years. My high school was actually a jr/sr high consisting of grades 7-12, and the school's population was composed of all the kids from three small neighboring towns. It would take 45 minutes of fast country road driving to get from one edge of the school district to the other, and my graduating senior class was still only 120. Growing up, I was surrounded by farms and fields rather than malls and car dealerships. Despite the outrageously-high likelihood that any car you passed would be a high school dropout-turned-farmer blaring country music in his big dually, I never felt like a hillbilly. My mother has a master's degree, and I was on a multiple-time state champion academic team in high school, and I went to college and graduated summa cum laude in 4 years. Despite all that, I've never felt more backwater hilljack than yesterday when I found out that a girl I went to high school with named her son "Creek." As in, "Ima go warsh my clothes in the crick."