I'll probably check his e-mails too, just to show him who's boss

A friend of mine told me about a fight he'd had with his girlfriend. He said that whenever he leaves the room she goes through his phone to see who he's been calling or texting. I mentioned that conversation to The Huz, and I followed it with, "I'm telling the truth when I say that I never do that. I'm serious."

"You better not," he said.

"Hey! Don't follow an admission of trust and honesty with a threat!"

"Well I'm just saying that it would really piss me off if you did."

"I know. And that's another reason why I don't do it," I said.

"You better not," he repeated.

"Jesus," I said. "Now I'm going to just because you pissed me off."